As far back in my life as I can
remember I have been a person who worried a lot. This summer was especially
difficult for me. I had so many things to deal with. I felt like I had to work
on all these things at once, but I learned that in order to successfully work
on the things I had to deal with them one by one.
One of the problems I had to deal
with was lack of devotions. I didn’t do my devotions very much in summer. I can
count on my hands how many times I did devotions in summer. The devil began
telling my lies like, I am not a Christian if I don’t do my devotions, I might
not make it to heaven, etc. Those are called lies for a reason, they have no
truth to them.
Another problem I had to overcome
was my worry. Worry like I mentioned a bit earlier, has been in my life, pretty
much the whole time. This summer I started out excited for SOM, but the closer
it got the more worried I became. Part of the reason I worry is to plan ahead.
Since I am in a wheelchair I have to plan stuff like, avoiding stairs, wondering
if the bathroom is accessible, parking ( I have a ramp in my van that comes out
the side), if there is buttons for the doors, and so much more. One thing I
learned about worrying is this: it’s okay not to know what is going to happen
next but God does. That’s why I came up with this quote. “I will take life one
step at a time. Not knowing what will happen but trusting that God does know
what will happen”. In the bible it says in 2 timothy 1:7 “for God gave us a
spirit not of fear but of power, love and self-control”.
Something I have struggled with for
a while has been trusting God, this summer I wasn’t doing devotions, so things
became harder for me. I was worrying more. If we don’t spend time with God
things often get harder, but it is when we begin to spend time with him, we
begin to trust him more. When things get harder it is God testing us, to see
how we react when things don’t go our way. It’s when that happens our true
character is revealed.
Near the end of summer, a few days
before school started I met with grace fast and told her the things I was
dealing with. It was really nice just to tell someone how I was feeling. After
that meeting I haven’t worried about anything really at all.
Now that I have had two days of
SOM. I have not been tired, but instead full of energy and Joy, and definitely
the Holy Spirit. On Sunday I prayed in
the prayer room for people, I volunteer in the prayer room. I felt as though I
prayed from God’s heart and not of my own. I haven’t felt that since I started
in the prayer room a year ago.
It feels reassuring to know that
SOM is where God wants me to be. If I feel this way only after two days. How
much more joyful will I feel later on in SOM.
